I’m going to try and be something here that is typically hard to us fiction writers: honest. Though our trade is chopping up our experiences and reassembling them into various stories, it’s very rare that you actually hear the true stories behind everything even though you get the traces.
When I was 20 I fell in love for the first and possibly only time. Her name was Crystal, she was a girl that I’d gone to high school with. A fellow debater and artist, she was the person most like me that I had ever met. I had an instant crush, but she was dating one of my casual friends and then moved on to my best friend shortly thereafter, so I kept my mouth closed.
Two years out of high school, after I’d suffered the turmoil of US Army Basic Training and a stint in Germany and she’d been long broken up with my friend, I finally confessed my love to her. Like something out of a dream, she told me she felt the same thing and we embarked on a whirlwind romance, me moving in with her a few days later.
I’m going to skip over this part, and maybe it’s the most important part to you but it’s very personal to me and special. We had our good times and bad times, and eventually we broke up. I found out she was pregnant shortly afterwards but she’d already gotten with her ex and was sure it was him. I went off to an army school and eventually got a letter from her saying she’d had the boy and that it was definitely the other guys’.
Cut t o 5 years later. I have a daughter with another woman and happen across her web page. She has some old pictures of her kid and to my surprise he looks like a clone of my daughter. I confronted her about it, she eventually semi-confessed but said the other guy had been my son’s father for most of his life and still should be. I don’t really think she’s wrong, so I don’t argue.
I have no idea where I’m going with this. Anyhow, I just found out that she married an old guy some time ago and he is now raising my son. It’s been another 3 years and I guess I’m just kind of lost in the sea now. I’m not dumb, I don’t love her or think she really cared about me in the long run, but I still do care about her. In the end, I just hope that they’re all happy.
If you were expecting some sort of catharsis out of this, I’m sorry to disappoint you. Like life, this post just kind of random and meaningless. I love you Clint, and Crystal…what the fuck happened?